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Suffer

by Kathryn Allyn

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1.
I hear you pacing upstairs Every night until dawn Dragging your baggage around Making your plans to move on I’ve seen you try it before But it’s yet to work out Every road leads somewhere You haven't found the right route I watched you soar too high I saw you plunge too deep I saw you burn too hot, shine too bright -and sell too cheap I don't care where you're bound I need to cover some ground My bag is packed in your car Take me with you when you go too far Love is risking it all Skating out to the edge I just bleed on the keys While you stand on the ledge I want to take that chance Of going over the falls This town just blackens the page While the white water calls I watched you soar too high I saw you plunge too deep I saw you burn too hot, shine too bright -and sell too cheap I don't care where you're bound I need to cover some ground My bag is packed in your car Take me with you when you go too far
2.
Suffer 04:00
We were barely in the foothills The grade was long and slow The mountains towered in the distance But our eyes were on the road As our lips met that first time I touched my fingers to your side gently tracing the space between ribs number 4 & 5 As the road climbed ever higher I know you saw that gleaming steel Mountains towering around us You kept my hands upon the wheel With my lips on your neck I pressed the point against on your side gently tracing the space between ribs number 4 & 5 Then I slipped the dagger in smoothly deep into your side twisting it so slowly as we crossed the Great Divide You know I didn’t want to kill you I could have made this so much tougher No, I’d never want to kill you I just wanted you to suffer I suffer with desire I suffer in the heat The first pin prick-the needle stick The lover’s prime conceit Drip by drip -and sip by sip Each heart shaped drop of blood so bitter sweet
3.
I put my mattress on the floor, I removed the closet door, I exposed each place a skeleton could hide. I looked for ghosts up in the attic, Looked for signal in the static, Took a flashlight to the Greasy underside. I sold Everything I could, Burned some more for firewood, Left the Rest on the street for trash to take away. There’s a square left on the wall, where the sunlight used to fall On the picture of you at sunset every day. So I’ve painted every room, Swept each corner with a broom, I’ve scrubbed away every scratch and mark. And when the light brings on the gloom, I keep a light on in every room, But when I close my eyes there are monsters in the dark. There were boxes in the cellar Dating back to Rockefeller Full of broken schemes I intended to repair. There were stains left on the floor, Two long scratched on the door, It took a year to clear the Sulphur from the air The echo bounces of the wall From my footsteps in the hall It’s the sound of owning nothing left to say. I finally cleared it all, Ran the final uninstall And sunlight floods these empty rooms all day. At last it’s all been cleared, There is nothing here to fear, I’ve scrubbed away every scratch and mark. But when the night brings on the gloom I keep a light on in every room, ‘Cause when I close my eyes there are monsters in the dark
4.
Poison 03:51
It’s winter in my soul I’m stumbling through the snow Love’s bitter and it’s cold And I’ve got nowhere to go I know I should push on But I’ve lost my will to try There’s a place on up the road Where I’ll lay right down and die Feed me poison But just a little at a time Let me taste that first sweet kiss Let me savor the sublime And I’ll just close my eyes Let it smother all the pain Stick it straight into my vein And say you’ll be mine I used to wonder who I am I don’t wonder anymore The mirror shows a face That I’ve never seen before I’ve hidden all my scars Burned away my fingerprints Playing in the flames Destroying evidence Feed me poison But just a little at a time Let me taste that first sweet kiss Let me savor the sublime And I’ll just close my eyes Let it smother all the pain Stick it straight into my vein And say you’ll be mine
5.
Goodbye, goodbye, I never thought that I Could love enough to feel this much pain. We live, we love and push comes to shove, the Sadness just comes with the terrain Tattered and torn My letters lay stillborn Confessions Now left unconfessed and on -the floor, littered with still more Expressions now left unexpressed The heat rises up from the dry desert floor, And swirls the dust to the sky Twisting and turning, My sorrow is burning Dancing with devils am I I had a dream. A crow came to me, Her Feathers as black as the night "Come now", said she, Her words a melody, we Spread out our wings and took flight The heat rises up from the dry desert floor, And swirls the dust to the sky Twisting and turning, My sorrow is burning Dancing with devils am I

about

Songs by Maurice Tani

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released June 20, 2022

Mike Rosengarten, guitars; Matt Cusack, bass; guitar & vocals (4); Jonathan Russell, violin (3) Nick Frenay, trumpet (4); Mike Lunoe, percussion

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Kathryn Allyn New York, New York

"In an era that has forgotten the fun of double-entendre,
she's subtle and sexy and musical all at one time."
- John Yohalem, Parterre Box

"A vocally lustrous earful" - The Philadelphia Inquirer

Catch me at NYC's Tomi Jazz, The Underground, Metropolitan Room, Stage 72, Don't Tell Mama, Cutting Room...
... more

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